We haven't talked in awhile...and a lot has happened, not just in my life, but I'm sure yours, and definitely in the world! Whew! I'll tell you one thing, life keeps you on your toes!
The last time I published a post was back in the fall of 2015! I was a single, 25-year old, just starting a 3 year Master's Degree program in Landscape Architecture at Utah State University in Logan, Utah. Now, I'm a married, 30-year old, just starting a virtual Mobility and Stability Coaching business with my husband while living out of a barn in Moose Pass, Alaska!
Can I be completely open with you?
I love writing! I feel like it is the best way for me to express myself, work through my feelings, and capture the wonderful moments that life has to offer!...Buuuut, I get burned out pretty easily, probably because I compare myself to others far more than what is healthy...if any amount is even healthy!
I see others getting more likes and comments, or I feel like they are doing it better, so why should I bother trying; there are a myriad of things that pick away at my self-worth until it comes crashing down, and then I have to take a few months away from social media to build myself up again. It's not a healthy cycle!
Understanding this about myself, I thought long and hard about returning to blogging. It's been on my mind for about a year now, but I haven't acted on it because I've been afraid....Afraid that I'll crash and burn again. Afraid it won't produce the results I'm expecting. Afraid others will dislike what I have to say. Afraid no one will even read what I have to say. Afraid of a lot of things! So, I kept pushing the feeling away.
Well, there's only so many times you can push a feeling away before you realize that it's not going to go away, and that you had better do something about it!
I figured the first step was to address some of my fears.
First, what if I start blogging again, and just crash and burn?
As I thought long and hard about this, I realized that the reason I have crashed and burned in the past is because I'm not having fun. Somewhere along the way, I stop enjoying what I'm doing, and start trying to produce what I think other people will like, or what they expect me to produce, and it becomes more of an obligatory task instead of an enjoyable hobby. So, goal #1 this time around: Have fun! I'm not here to make money, promote a business, sell a product, or preach a cause; I'm writing because I love to write, and I want to document my feelings and experiences in such a way that maybe someone else can find value from them during a time when they are seeking inspiration, encouragement, or just reassurance that everything will be okay even when it feels like everything is crashing down around you!
Second, what if blogging doesn't produce the results I want?
What are the results I want? Of course, who wouldn't say that earning money for writing a blog would be fantastic? It would be! But that is not the result I want. It's definitely not wrong to start a blog with that desire, but for me, I know that goal will not help me to be consistent and produce content that is sincere and genuine. So what do I want from this blog? To be honest, I know having a specific niche is the most effective approach to getting a message across, gaining a following, and having incredible success! But I don't have a niche, and I really don't want to limit myself to one thing or one group of things. I am a multi-talented young lady with a wide range of interests! And besides that, life is always changing, and I am always adapting and learning! So, if I have to pick a niche, then I choose the niche of living life to the fullest! --But to get back to the topic on hand, what are the results I want? I want to use my gift of writing to document this incredible life I've been blessed to live, the good times and the bad times. Perhaps someone will find value in it, but if not, that's okay. Ultimately, this blog is a way for me to work through life's craziness and to recognize the abundant tender mercies of the Lord.
Third, what if people dislike what I write about?
Rude, negative comments hurt! I know they are just words, and usually come from people who have no place saying them, but they still hurt! I don't pretend to believe that I can make everyone happy, but I genuinely like people and I want them to like me as well. So, I don't know about this one, it could be a struggle. I guess the most I can do is just be myself, seek guidance from the spirit, and respond to others in love, regardless of how they choose to treat me. No matter what I do in life, I'm going to have to learn how to compassionately respond to people who are pessimistic and cruel.
Fourth, what if no one even reads what I write?
I think this fear goes back to the fear about not getting the results I want out of this blog. I need to remind myself, that it isn't my goal to become the most popular blog in the country. Yes, I hope people read my blog. and I hope they find something of value from what I have to share, but ultimately, if I'm the only one that ever reads any of these words, that is okay. I'm probably the one who needs to hear them the most anyway!
So, here it goes! I'm going to give blogging another whack! A lot of interesting things have transpired in my life in the past 5 years, so some of my next posts will fill you in on what I've done and what has brought me to this point. Much of what I have to say right now will make a lot more sense once you get a bit of the back story!
It's going to be one heck of a rocky ride, no doubt plenty of
'sharp rocks at the bottom,' but if you're up for adventure, then I invite you to join me on this fabulous journey that life is taking me on!
